1. |
(and i answered)
04:04
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Someone asked:
Someone finally asked
Someone finally asked
And I answered
Was it what I hoped?
Was it what I wanted?
Am I on the floor
With scissors in my arms?
Am I drowning in pleasure?
Am I drowning?
The answers to those questions are:
More
So much more
And yes
Yes yes
Yes yes yes
I am drowning
I am drowning
And now I have experienced
The last and final beat of my heart
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2. |
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3. |
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Can you hold it in the basement
One bare light bulb
Shadows on cinderblock
The ever pulsating scrim
One bare light bulb
Swinging on an axis
I can’t locate
Can’t locate my shape
I can’t locate
Can’t locate my shape
Among the shifting shadows
Can you hold it
Can you hold it for me
For me
|
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4. |
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When I became of age
I bit into that apple
Cast by Eris to the stage
I became wedded to her
Forever entangled
In vines like veins
Sapped of oxygen
And all that might maintain
What I did not know
Is that deep seated rage
And jealousy would keep
Ripping seams, tearing the page
Tearing, tearing -
The stitches out of my underwear
Ripping, ripping
Rifts into gravity
Sowing the black seeds
Into circles of abstraction
We danced past the music hall that was mirrored
And I saw Eris in my arms
A fight song erupting
From the majors marching in their stalls
Slandered by Cetaphil
Dressed up in costumes and
Drunk on malt liquor
Artemis shot her arrows
And made Ares the ass out of me
Shattering a snowman
Blurried by the boundaries
We double talked to the tower
Falling asleep before finishing
With Loveless further abstracting
We danced past the music hall that was mirrored
And I saw Eris in my arms
A fight song erupting
From the majors marching in their stalls
Cass, you had to be wary
With Artemis slinging arrows
But you took Eris too
And no longer wanted to share her
And it’s not until now that I can see the truth-
We were just two beauties bellicose in youth
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5. |
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6. |
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You know your children are still sleepwalking when the homeowner’s association has filled in the ravines with concrete. Twenty foot tall fences of white net denying entry from the woods. I have known these places all my life but still need a guide. I’ve been waiting for her to take me by the hand and re-evaluate the limerence we have both been fighting. A compliment to my color wheel, she wades through Champion Creek to break under the bridge and utter unpracticed swear words (I whisper them in her ear). The park closes at dark, and if the gate is locked, you can smash it with a rock. If instead you are greeted by flashing lights, you will sober up. You will sober up.
If you are looking for Clay Mountain and get lost, take heart that it has been collapsed. In the unformed backgrounds, I have heard them dozing. I have seen them shear the past like butter, exposing striations, and sending the coterie of creeps scattering. You can still find them though - like catfish, old and blind, they probe the brush with long, barbed whiskers. You can still smell the stench of piss and vodka. As if there weren’t already enough home-grown pedos in this town, they were the ones who snared Billy-Boy and sent him home a zombie. But at least now, the nets will keep him from emerging uninvited into your yard.
In my neighborhood, the electrical boxes stick out like sore thumbs - they’ll tell you a secret and then break your ankle. In these moments it’s nice to have a lion by your side, for she is the one who showed me how to side-step the nets and guided me to the field of daffodils. She showed me how to probe amongst the stalks and locate the stones. She pointed to the cenotaphs and said “This is where your children were once interred, but they keep walking.” They keep walking.
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7. |
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The last time I looked at you
I had such fortunate dreams
That I lived there for two weeks
|
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8. |
With Animals
03:55
|
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I want to be all the animals with you my darling
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9. |
(striation)
03:34
|
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10. |
FTFTFL
06:23
|
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I wrote you a song tonight
It’s called Fucking to Fucking to Floodland
It’s an invitation
To immerse yourself
In my clear blue waters
My clear blue waters
In my clear blue waters
My clear blue waters
The fault lines flicker
As the cuts in my cuticles bleed
It’s an invitation
To leach out the color green
A violet transfusion
alchemical illusion
A violet transfusion
alchemical illusion
Immerse yourself
So we can float
We can float
In the world we’ve made
I’m at home
In the world we’ve made
We can float
We can float
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11. |
The Heliotropes
07:10
|
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(this is a sun song)
I never knew I needed a guide
To help me navigate my mind
But it’s been years and years
Since I memorized all the trees
My hands have never been so dry
Patterned like a reptile
Even my eyes have been so damned
I swallowed and swallowed so much sand
I found myself lost in the woods
The sun breaking out onto the path
Where I met a Lion who guided me
She knew the name of every tree
(this is a sun song)
I never knew I needed a guide
To help me navigate my mind
But it’s been years and years
Since I memorized all the trees
My hands have never been so dry
Patterned like a reptile
Even my eyes have been so damned
But with a slight move of her hand
The water broke through
The water broke through
Rushing and flooding
Rushing and flooding out over the land
(this is a water song)
We found a home in a sycamore, completely hollow
The water flows from the roots through our bodies
And up into the branches and leaves
Reaching and reaching into the atmosphere
Following the sun
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