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Humming Thunder Down the Drain

by *spandrel & The Trash Pile

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1.
Dowsed 03:13
I shimmied out of my jacket and slung it down across the bar The hotel, as a series of hanging flower baskets The bartender pulled my jacket away like a tablecloth The setting stolen, he flasked his fingers to spout Three pondwater specimens in identical plastic tubs A substrate for tadpoles to wiggle out little cricket legs Flashing teeth and talking small to mask the destruction up my sleeve S.N. sat down wearing a cotton candy colored blue dress Starched stiff in the bodice, she crinkled like a bridesmaid And held her purse from the top like a widdle doggie begging In more than a minute I would be doused A tadpole swimming crooked, pushing against one dead kicker Making negative progress far, far, far into the muck.
2.
This was a time during formation when our hearts were soft untethered in circulation Destruction was wreaked in these ephemeral places In these holy places We were young machines We were young machines The trailing fibers seeking connections splintered by blades sweeping for ablations We were young machines uncalibrated, out of tune foreign bodies introduced ingesting the inorganic years to be removed Destruction was wreaked in these ephemeral places In these holy places The floor plan gets more convoluted refusal to do any more pruning The floor plan gets more convoluted refusal to do any more pruning
3.
The days are paced as different sets of soles squeak, pad, scuff, or see-saw the worn floor Days are lived with micro-flora swimming Drink down mouthwash, savoring the sting Different types of water we breathe Pain in the temple, blood-brain leaks Carbon compressing, so much pressure The cluttering of consciousness Visits to babies with flushed faces Born with white hair and missing pieces Separated chambers in their hearts Holes plugged with Potato-Head parts The moms and dads split the deck They double-down every night The moms and dad split the deck hit after hit after hit The days have all been misplaced Dead-end nerves are what remain There’s no easy way to map this code There’s no easy way to come back home The moms and dads split the deck They double-down every night The moms and dads split the deck hit after hit after hit
4.
5.
This suspension has passed Below the astroturf mat Genuflection was not refused The vault capping a broken tooth Pilgrims silent, pink roses in hand Thumbing smooth stems where they can Lipstick-licked petals preserved Unnaturally but well deserved This suspension has passed Below the astroturf mat Casket closed and the rosary A brief dwelling in misery And this was what she was to us now Tastes of thin communion Only registered in the throat
6.
Folding cold towels In the unfinished room Cutting up the clothing For when life resumes Taking a moment And exploring the holes A pile of rags To burn myself whole To burn myself whole I’m just paint on the doorknob Won’t even grease your palm I’m the soap that’s not strong The agency to clean is gone Leaving the conditioner in I’m in no condition to be in condition Leaving the conditioner in I’m in perfect condition to be done in I’m just paint on the doorknob Won’t even grease your palm I’m the soap that’s not strong The agency to clean is gone The agency is gone It’s gone
7.
My room is a haunted haus Stripped of context, I’m at a loss Prayers directed toward two red lights Pulsing and blurry in the night Through open windows ghosts crept in Wearing rippling -curtain wigs Night air scooting on its back Thrusting moths to attack The glow of a slow wave dream Scattering of prism beams The glow of a slow wave dream Scattering of prism beams The glow the glow the glow All the lightning-jagging lines Were no longer just mine My face pieces in disassembly You held the gestalt internally The glow of a slow wave dream Scattering of prism beams We played hide-and-seek Beneath the Easter yellow-greens A sky cathedral above our heads New shapes in the clouds, all pretend The glow, the glow, the glow Two faint raps, whispering into the door crack: “Mom, I’m back.” Sit at the kitchen table so perplexed in the dark The dishwasher humming thunder down the drain Nights with only one candle flame At a time when I wouldn’t have dared Hold your hand. When the yellow glow from the Waffle House Was not yet a slow-wave dream
8.
When I got outside Grubbing in the soil I found your words hidden In a time capsule Admiring the view The window wall, the window wall A little yellow bird takes flight Nerve endings regenerating from you Return, return, return Return, return, return Buried blossoms coming alive A little yellow bird takes flight From you from you from you Buried blossoms coming alive From you from you from you From you from you from you Return, return, return Nerve endings regenerating from you From you from you from you Return, return, return Return, return, return
9.
10.
You brought it up. I mean the hecklers. They were out there strewn amid the paper garbage. Growing fat from the soil From an overactive pituitary, a surge atop the heads of crisped daffodils, I was bulbed into the soil this shortened winter and then pumped through and resolved, the paper garbage blowing back a piece or two at a time. if this spirit will stay then I will embrace it. I will force it into a hollow-ringed body. I will make it fit. Make it fit They were supposed to amputate at least a few toes." the woman above me, I heard, should be home. constructions? or like bumble bees zapping denouement es el mismo The beginning is the end

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released March 18, 2022

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*spandrel Columbus, Ohio

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